Cereal Box

This big world is spinning round

Your life gets flipped 

turned upside down

The sceneries the same

But everything has changed

A grain of sand is not all we have

Streets and work, and rushing cabs

You keep reaching for that splendor

And you hope it lasts forever

Don’t fool yourself with grand illusions

They will bring you mass confusion

There is no ever after

Living in disaster

So Prince charming got you lost?

Quit searching in that cereal box

You can fill those empty holes

Build up all the shapes and molds

Just put yourself in your own hands

For it’s you, you need to understand

The tiny rock you build upon

Will grow sturdy steady big and strong

Because unless you have found your own path

Nothing else is going to last

My Passion

I'll be your willful prisoner

Longing for your touch

Wanting you so badly

It could not be too much

Devoured by my passions

I’m off in distant dreams

Where fantasy and reality

Change to fit my needs

It is here that I can kiss you

we whisper, lick, and tease

In my arms, my intentions,

to love you sweet, with ease

Hungry for your taste, your smell

to me you secrets, safely tell

It would make my dreams come true

Just to become a part of you

To ride the wild passions tide

Raging echoes will subside

Resting in your warm embrace

My heart will find a peaceful place

To be a lover and a friend

This prayerful message, my heart doth send

Defying all of space and time

Till the day that you are mine

- Etha Walters

The Brain Fart

I sat down one day and tried
to write a poem from the heart
but each time I got started
my mind had a brain fart
it really blew my mind apart
trying to think of what came next
I couldn't figure out what I was doing
each time i would forget
oh yes I had a brain fart
my mind it was so blank
it stinks of something terrible
when your words are a mistake.
I tried to keep on writing
but could not finish what I started
cause each time I would try again
my mind would start the farting

A Love For Me

I travel alone through a life that is dark
looking for love or a sign of a spark.....
each time I come close it just slips far away
I do keep my hope that I'll find love someday..
a love that is genital, a love that is kind,
a love that protects , a love genuine......
a love that has patients, a love that is free,
a love that will commit completely to me.....
a love that will honor, a love that can trust....
a love that will giveth, a love that won't bust....
a love made in heaven, a love that is real..
a love that is pure, a love that can heal..
a love that will be there when the road gets rough....
to pamper this heart, when the going gets tough..
a love that won't leave me to find my own way....
a love that will be there til the end of my days....
I want the love that can uphold the wind....
the type that brings happiness and fills me within...
I'm searching, I'm praying, with patients and hope.....
for the love that won't leave my heart again broke......

©2002

A Search For Love

loneliness and sorrow a feeling of doubt,
  secretly hoping for a better way out....
looking and praying and trying to see...
if there is a life, that is waiting on me..
A life that will take the hurt from my heart,
A life that will build a flame from a spark...
A baby blue sky, where the rain never falls,
a world where I can tear down all my walls...
A strong and kind man to ease all my fears,
with a love that is capible of lasting for years......
with a heart that excepts me just as I am...
with two loving arms, and two loving hands..
a comfortable life, with less worry and pain...
a life where I will not feel ashamed.
A life where I wake up and am glad I'm alive.
A life where I don't have to merely survive....
so I will keep searching and hoping to find
A love that I can truly call mine.
I have a lot to give, with my heart full of love
I really don't think that I'm asking too much .

The Girl Of Long Ago

the girl from long ago

Still lingers in my mind 

her actions spoke loudly

testing the marks of time 

Her freedom was so wide spread

her parents were not there

to show her loving guidence

and show her that they cared
Fending for herself

she grew up with respect

she learned through lots of errors

but does not have much to regret

The flowers she once ran among

the skies of baby blue
In looking back it's hard to say

Just how much she made it through

The grace of higher power was with her

to show her what was right

it took away her sadness

that filled her mind with freight

The Blooming Rose

Like a blooming rose

my love grows for you.

naturally forming

and beautiful too

Life may have thorns

we'll handle it with care

I know I'll be secure

as long as you're there

As soft as the petals

I'll caress you in my arms

Kissing you passionately

in times that are hard

You will nurture my life

like a stem does the rose

Warming my soul

from a past that was cold

I'll stand there beside you

and support you with love

We'll live out our fantasies

for years left to come

Wall Of Safety

BEHIND THIS WALL OF SAFETY
I STAND HERE ALL ALONE.
DEALING WITH EMOTIONS
AND STORY'S LEFT UNTOLD.

BEHIND THIS WALL OF SAFETY
I AM FOREVER FREE
FROM ALL THE HURT, NEGLECT, ABUSE
THAT FOREVER CHALLENGED ME.

BEHIND THIS WALL OF SAFETY
STANDS A MOTHER AND A WIFE.
STILL SEARCHING FOR THE ANSWERS
THAT WILL REPAIR MY LIFE.

BEHIND THIS WALL OF SAFETY
I HOLD THE KEY TO HAPPINESS
ALTHOUGH IT'S MY IMAGINATION
I CONTINUE TO PROGRESS.

THIS WALL OF SAFETY'S STABLE
I CREATED EVERY INCH
WITH LOTS OF HAUNTING MEMORIES
I HID FROM ALL MY FRIENDS.

EACH BRICK WAS MEANT TO PREVAIL
THE ULTIMATE OF STORMS
TO PROVIDE HEAT IN THE WINTER
IT'S COVER KEEPS ME SAFE AND WARM.

THIS WALL OF SAFETY IS MY HAVEN
ALTHOUGH IT CAN NOT ERASE MY PAST.
IT HELPS ME TO FIND COMFORT
UNTIL THE ANGUISH COMES TO PASS.

I HOPE ONE DAY TO STEP OUT
FROM BEHIND THE WALL I'VE MADE
FINDING COMFORT IN MY LIFE
AND NOT HAVE TO STOLE AWAY!!!!!!!!!!

My Life Is A Computer

my life is a computer
people pushing on my keys
looking thru my files
for something new to read
i have so many programs
and games to play with them
unfortunately i cooperate
with only family and friends
most are not computer literate
so they can not work with me
they think they know my actions
and how i live in society
my chip it knows the answers
although it may never tell
unless the operator asking
is a friend who knows it well...

A Mother's Love

a mothers love is one of a kind
you learn that later on in life
all the hurt and all the pain
all the times tears fall like rain
the nightly checks the times we peak
the dreams we so secretly keep
to kiss a hurt to play a game
we give our love we feel their pain.
we give our love, they turn their backs.
respect is something children lack
we except the bad times and the good
not thinking twice what could have been.
we stay up late and worry so
we think of our children more than they know
we do so many jobs for them
and forgive what they do because they're our kids.
we teach them values they can use
hope they grow and not abuse.
we teach them how to walk and talk
and then they trample on our hearts
we love our children no matter what...
there is nothing more grand than a mothers love.

©2002 by BA

Husband For Sale

husband for sale or rent
all for just 50 cents
his close his food his rent
even his cigarettes
you don't have to worry
I'll provide all this for free
if u can't handle he
please don't bring him home to me.
  I'm fed up with what he puts me through
maybe he will change for you
his drinks, his laugh his charm
this marriage is all to wrong
just take him now so far away
lock him up don't let him play
(EVER)

©2002 by:BA

Keep My Circle Unbroken

keep my circle unbroken
help me to be the light
let me shine on my family
with my saviors love in site
help me witness the gospel
help me show the way
for my family to follow
the will you have each day
keep my circle unbroken
as we come through the gate
let us shine in your glory
in the name of god i pray.
my family is so precious.
my love for them is strong
I hand them to you
and with you's where they belong
teach them to follow
teach them the right way
keep my circle unbroken
on that judgement day.. ©2002

Marbles On The Mantel

There are marbles on the mantel
in a bright blue crystal jar
I store them there in case i loose one
and it rolls away to far
Sometimes my life's confusing
and my mind may not see clear;
although this has not happen
to me in many years
Yes those are the replacements
for the ones inside my mind
If one should ever fall out
I can replace it just in time
Please do not touch my marbles
or they may accidentally fall

Someday I may have to replace them all

Amazing Depth

The echo of your words spoken softly in my ear.

"I want you to know...

that is me in there!"

Whispered words of passion, I gasped deeply for my breath.

For Even in your echo's,

You have amazing depth.

Now closing my eyes.

Your arms around me so serine.

I sense your spirit with in me.

Just like in my dreams.

Never before have I been so free. Except by the grace of God in me.

I can't begin to express how I feel.

Only that I know.

What I am feeling is real.

~Love is for ever~

~Love is 4 ever~

I see you dove,

now falling, falling.

Falling you are from the sky.

I see you spiraling downward,downward.

Tell me why can't you fly?

No wounds I can see from the outside.

so the battle must be from with in.

The constant need for control.

The aching desire to give in.

Weakness in your spirit.

Little mind control.

Loss of physical desire.

Not knowing which way to go.

So downward downward spiraling downward.

Unleashing the burdens of your soul.

Falling, falling ever downward.

Spiraling out of control.

They have spoiled spoiled,

All of your goods.

Now no good for love.

So downward, downward

I see you fall.

What were you thinking of?

       

 ~After all~

     ~Love is 4 ever~

For A Moment

For a moment,

You were My Knight and Shinning Armour.

Like the kiss that awakened Snow White.

Your Kiss brought me back to life.

For a moment,

I didn't want to know how the story would end.

I just enjoyed the moment I was in.

Giving freely to you as you gave to me.

Our hunger, 

Like the flames in a fire romantically dancing.  

Consumed by an aching need to just be.

To just be free to Love you.

A sure reflection of you Loving me.

For a moment,

I smiled.

Feeling the warmth of the sun shining upon me.

Like a tower you stood before me.

A shelter in the storm.

You fed me what I was hungry for.

You numbed the pain.

So it didn't hurt any more.

For a moment,

Not seeing was fine with me.

For a moment!

What If?

A woman anguished over the insecurities of her Love.  Shattered by the painful hurt of infidelity. Led to the edge of, What if?

What if?

What if..., I just let go?

Taking each day as it flows.

Not anticipating anger.

Not inducing panic rage.

Not pushing myself on him.

Not playing by his game.

Perhaps... have my own agenda.

Making plans for me.

Taking care of myself.

Setting myself free.

What if,

When I see the bullet comming,

Rest assured it's certain to be.

I bend to flee its path.

and find my own destiny?

Arriving on a distant shore.

The canvas pure and clean.

Untraveled by the journeyman.

A future not yet seen.

What if?

What if the Love I have searched for.

Has been waiting in the wings.

Just waiting for my decision.

To care more about some things.

What if, seems to never answer. The Questions in my heart.

Nor can it make me feel better.

When I am lonely and falling apart.

Only when I choose to stand,

For who I really am.

Will The love I hide with in me,

Have a chance to live again.

Hello (A silent plea)

Hello are you listening

I think without speech

you are the ribbon

that makes me complete.

Hello My eyes plead

as I look at your face

How can you denyw

hat can not be replaced?

My heart is here

to help you be strong.
I need you beside me

right where you belong.

Hello won't you try?

I can't force you to quit.

It's your life 

won't you live it?

You don't have to be sick.

Hello, Ill be lonley

if you leave me alone.

We pledged to stand together

and never let go

Hello, you are my everything

I am your toy

I dangle from strings

I love you more than

you'll ever know

now are you hearing my feelings

HELLO????

Unconditional Love

You need not ever worry
You will never be alone

I am always here for you

as mother and father both

You will never want for nothing

as I did as a child

I will hold your hand

and help you

through the problem trials

My love for you will be here

to teach you to be strong

I have alot to offer
Although I am just one.

I will give advice

from the life that I have lead
You may not always take it

and follow yours instead.

I will always be here

to talk when you're in need

and love you unconditionally

even after you succeed

For life will have its challenges

there is no exception to the rule

learning from our conversationh

ow to use hardships as a tool.

For, Harsh is a life all man kind can live

If not taking the advice

that only a mother can give.

(Written for my son R. Dylan Zachariah Montgomery

by Jesilyn & Sheila 1996)

 

Lock Me Away

Lock me away somewhere

deep in your heart
Believe that I am here for you

and I don't plan to part

Let your love flow through me

for that is what I need

give your love up freely

don't force me to my knees
I yearn to feel your warm embrace

and know how much you care

I want to know you need me

and that you want me near

Throw away the doubt you have

a little at a time

Enjoy our lives together

your emotions please don't hide.

~Jesilyn~

Code of Silence

Please break this code of silence.

Tell me how you feel.
I know that you are holding back

what inside you know is real.

I know your past is rocky

Your emotions learned to hide

I am not out to hurt you

I'll be right by your side

 

Break this code of silence
I need to hear what's on your mind
If I'm not what you are wanting
I'll definately keep trying.

If you don't want my love

I'll walk away and go

That would hurt me badly

But you won't have to know.

I'm not out to cause you trouble
I've lived enough to know
Not to hold on to a man

If he wants to be let go.

~Jesilyn~

Restless

Rushing through life

with blinders on

Living the ultimate

country song

Running the roadsf

ree as a bird

leaving us breathless

without a word

Loving in ways

when time would allow

standing out uniquely 

in a very large crowd

Strong willed as the wind
Gently blowing astray

using your talentst

o find your way

crossing the bridge

to a new found life

who's to say it was wrong or right

wild as a bull

couped up in a cage

blowing up often

his emotions enraged

he was a spring flower

in the springtimeb

right as the sun

countless heartst

his man won

he was a sight for 

all to see

heaven only knows

how he affected me.

 

~Jesilyn~

(In memory of Donald Cleve Boswell)

Friends Forever

Please don't think of my departureas

 a long and sad goodbye

for I am with you always

You'll be my friends for life

Ill remember you're a reason

this county set me free

You've been there when I've needed

a shoulder for to cry
You've walked me through some hardtimes

You've brightened up my life

Our talents brought us together

for writing is our way
I'm better for just knowing you

My dept I could never repay.
I hope I have touched your life

in the way that you have mine.
I could never replace our friendship

And I would never try!

(Until we join again)

~Jesilyn~

(For Etha Walters & Sheila Adner 1998)

True Emotions

True in all humanity

in every walk of life

Emotions they are everywhere

no matter wrong or right

Creeping up inside us

Are thoughts of joy and pain

feelings they are endless

each moment of the day

There's one thing about enotions

it's that they are never wrong

Our feelings they devide us

and yet help us to belong
Emotions can be simple

Emotions are complex

Feelings like anxiety

hopelessness and fret
My favorite of all my emotions

it that of pure success 

When I cannot see my rainbow,

I trust the Gods to do the rest

True emotions is reality

the happiness the pain

No matter what you are going through

somewhere, someone is

feeling the same!

 

~Jesilyn~

Difficult Lessons

How do I make you listen

what do I have to do?
I want you to appreciate

all I do for you.

My job is to teach you values

I'm suppose to show I care

But you make me think at times

that my hands are in the air.

How do I make you understand

I try to do what's right

I want to give you everything

morning noon and night

You need guidence

dicipline and love

You are in your formative years

with many years to come
As adults you'll learn your lessons

and hard ones this is true.

I want to teach you kindly

so it won't be so hard on you.

~Jesilyn 1998~

Confusion

fragile Emotions

Innocent minds

Cevered shortly

Innocents lost

Awaken Briefly

Cremating the security inside
Stumbling through the dark

noticing the light

confused on how to get it

reaching for a possibility

simply losing touch

holding on to memoriesa

waking illusions

about what to find

reality hits

is my rainbow now in sight.

~Jesilyn 1998~

The Value Of My Children's Love

Wealthy I am not

if financial is what you mean.

My fortunes are quite simple

with alot yet to be seen.

My children are diamonds

sparkeling they are bright

giving me self-worth

making me feel right.

My home it isn't fancy
But it's mine for all it's worth

My savior up in heaven

watches me while I'm on earth.

He provides for me what I can not
He gives the strength I need
I know that I am special

because Jesus died for me

Material riches are not my thing

What I have will be enough

As long as I can live each day

with my children's love

~Jesilyn 1998~

Momma Would You?

Momma can you see me from heaven

as I'm sitting here alone?

What would you tell me if you could

To help me carry on?

Would you whisper that you love me

and tell me to be strong?

Would you hold me as I cried

and let me know that I belong?

Would you tell me that I'm special?

Would you brighten up my day?

Would you share things from your past

and lead me the right way?

Would you tell me that I'll make it

in this world that is so big?
Would you make me laugh out loud

Like you did when I was a kid?

~Jesilyn~

Lonely

Do you know what it's like to be lonely

To need two arms to hold?

Have you ever sat awake

Wondering if you were meant to be alone?

Have you ever envied lovers

When you see them in the streets?

Do you long to feel compassion
Forever so to speak?

Does it seem out of reach

the happieness others have?

Does it leave you feeling insecure, 

sad, or even mad?

~Jesilyn~

Waiting

Alone & waiting with hope

I await the big change

when you find yourself

and love me that way

But my mind

has grown doubtful

My spirits are Broke
It's hard to breath

There's a lump in my throat

I'd die to feel a

 passionate kiss

Your arms around me

Is my only wish
I cannot confront you
For you don't understand

At least you don't show it

with a touch of your hand
So I guess Ill keep on waiting
For my day to come

when either you do love me

or pack your shit and run.

~Jesilyn~

Emptiness

Security a feeling, I lost so long ago
Inside our lonly household
my feelings can't let go
I know that my emotions
just cannot be released
In fear you will reject me
my love you just resistI
 do not want to leave you
and yet you treat me wrong.
my heart suffers endlessly
with love that is so strong
why can't you just embrace me
why wont you stop the pain
let me feel importanta
nd special once again
we use to share a closeness
that made me feel complete
now we live together
our eyes they seldom meet
i try to keep believing
that someday you'll love me again
and each day that passes
leaves me feeling incomplete.

~Jesilyn~

Life

Four walls surround me

a roof over my head

my furniture is decent

my body is fed

Yet inside I'm hurting

I'm feeling so alone

No where to turn

In a world so cold

I never imagined

Id end up this way

I thought my skies

would be bluer

Than they are today

I need to feel special

I need to feel loved

and yet I sit here

feeling so alone

This isn't the first time

I've felt this before

The hard slams of

Love's special door.

I knock no one opens

I beg and I plead

I pray for answers

each night

on my knees!

~Jesilyn~