In my heart there lives a shadow
A love that I hold dear
I lay clinging to my pillow
Alone releasing tears.
I'm scared and I am lonely
My beliefs misunderstood.
Emtiness takes over
With my heart I still see good.
The internal fight is endless.
For I know what lies ahead.
If I choose the love inside me.
I'm gonna loose my friends.
All that I have worked for,
goes flashing through my mind.
Years of hurt and anger
Come back time after time.
I know no one can help me
with the choices I must make.
My chest begins to tighten
with each breath it's forced to take.
I want to wake to blue skys
instead I wake to rain.
the things I use to love the most
now just causes pain.
I have to watch my footsteps
as others can not deal.
so I slip off alone to write.
In hopes it helps me heal.
The time it passes slowly
As I wait to find my peace.
crying silently to myself
until atlast I fall asleep.
~Jesilyn 2002~
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